Raoul's Vacation Week
by VampPhanWriter
Summary: After a flood in the opera house, Christine, Raoul and Meg have the week off. Raoul decides to have them vacation at Erik's place...and all the while getting under his skin! Hints at Christine x Erik. I do not own any of the characters in this story.
1. Prologue

It was an extremely boring day for Raoul. No, scratch that, for the past week Viscount Raoul de Chagny was bored out of his mind. It rained all day so much, that the streets were closed, he couldn't go to work, and had practically nothing to do. But luckily, his friend Meg came over just before he possibly died of boredom.

"Hello, Meg," he said, looking up from his book entitled, 'What the HELL is a Viscount?!' "What brings you here?"

Meg smiled. "My mum wanted me to tell you that the opera house is flooded with water. Until the only people we could find, who are nothing but a drunken, mediocre staff, clean the place up, everyone has the week off starting tomorrow!"

Raoul shut his book and grabbed his jacket, which was right next to him on the sofa.

"Where are you going?"

Raoul grinned. "I'm going to go get Christine. I know how to make the next few days the best we'll ever experience!"

Meg's grin widened. "Can I come with you?"

"Sure, the more the merrier; at least in this case…"

---

"What's this all about Raoul?" Christine asked. Raoul and Meg had come bursting into her house ten minutes earlier, and Raoul had just started telling her what Meg told him.

Raoul beamed a toothy grin. "Two words, Christine: Erik's place."


	2. Sofas and Eriks in the pool

That night, the three stayed over at Christine's. When they got up the next morning, they went to Christine's room, where behind the mirror was a secret passageway to Erik's.

Little did they know, they would find Erik passed out on the couch, previously drunk, and holding a bottle of beer. Christine touched him on the shoulder gently and whispered his name. He awoke with a start.

"Oh, hello Christine," he said rapidly, but no where near nervously. "Nice day, isn't it?"

Christine arched an eyebrow. "It's been raining for the past week!"

Erik looked over to the underground lake that his couch was a dangerous three feet away from. "Oh. So that's why the lake's been five feet deeper."

Raoul then spoke up. "You don't get out enough." He grinned. "You look worst than that girl from _the Exorcist. _

Erik rolled his eyes. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"You SOUND worst than her, too!"

Erik stared at him. "How am I supposed to even know what she sounds like? I never even saw the film!"

Raoul took a videotape from his knapsack, put it into the VCR in front of the couch, and pressed PLAY. He turned the TV on.

"Wait a minute," Erik said. "We're in the nineteenth century. Television won't be invented for another fifty years!"

Raoul shrugged and laughed at the screen as the girl in the movie twisted her head around. He repeated with the priests performing the exorcism on her, "_The power of Christ compels you!_" Meg looked as if she was nauseous.

Erik muttered under his breath, "Now I know why I never saw this film."

Raoul turned away from the TV, and started towards the couch.

"What're you doing?" Erik asked.

He started to push the couch towards the lake.

"Stop! _STOP!_"

Raoul grinned as Erik fell into the water with the couch. He didn't come up to the surface for about ten seconds.

"Aw, great job, Raoul!" said Meg. "I think you killed him!"

Just as she finished her sentence, Erik came up from underwater, his hair looking even more wet than normal.

"Damn it, Chagny," he mumbled. "That sofa cost two hundred fifty franks and took me a whole hour for me to get it down here from Christine's mirror!"

Christine looked at him for a moment and tilted her head. "Wait a minute; I don't remember this being here two years ago when you took me here. When did you get this through my mirror?"

"I did it about five months ago when you were out at that concert. I accidentally broke a lamp…"

Christine looked up, as if she just realized something. "So _that's _where the broken glass came from!"

Erik got out of the lake and dried himself off with his cloak, which was on the floor, next to where the sofa used to be. "What are you three doing here?"

"Oh, um," Raoul began. "We came down here to spend the week with you..."

"No," Erik replied firmly.

"How come?" Meg asked.

"I'm okay with you and Christine staying here. But not this idiot! Not after what happened two years ago!"

"What happened two years ago?" Raoul asked.

"Well, let us see." Erik picked up a book that looked like a diary, and flipped through it. "Ah, yes. You almost killed me in a sword fight, for one. Ah yes, what else…" He skimmed through, looking for Raoul's name anywhere in the journal.

Christine took his hand. "Just one week? He won't cause any harm."

"Four days."

"Five and you have yourself a deal."

Erik sighed. "Agreed." He turned to Raoul. "Five days. And five days _only!_"

Raoul grinned. "_YES!_" At that, he jumped on top of the sofa, which was now floating in the water. It began to sink again. "Oh no; help!"

Erik rolled his eyes. _This is going to be a LONG five days… _he thought to himself.


	3. All Work No Play Makes Erik a dull boy

The next morning, Raoul got up bright and early to go and make some breakfast. _Waffles, _he thought. _Waffles are good. They taste good too._

He went down to Erik's pantry. There he found a dozen eggs, a gallon of milk that was half full, and a griddle. _Aw, great. Well this is a nice time for him not to carry flour. _He walked out of the pantry and back to the living room, which was conveniently located in front of the lake. He sat on the couch (which Erik made him help get out of the pool the night before) and pondered for a moment, should he go out, or should he ask Erik. Just then, he turned around, and saw him in the lake.

"Hey Erik!" he called. "Do you—"

Erik turned around. "_Oh my God!_" he cried out. He lowered his hands below the water, looking somewhat embarrassed.

Raoul arched an eyebrow. "What's wrong? I just wanted to know if—"

Erik got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around him.

"Oh. Well you should install a bathtub or something. Imagine if Christine came in while you were—"

Erik shrugged. "I wouldn't care if she did. And I can't install a bathtub because I'm out of room for that!"

Raoul replied, "Well, maybe if you got rid of those candles over there…"

"How are we supposed to see then? Lamps haven't been invented yet."

"And that organ…"

"Screw you."

Raoul lowered his head. "Jeez, sorry. I just wanted to know where you kept the flour."

"I don't have any flour."

"Oh." Raoul shrugged. "Okay. I'll be right back." He grabbed his jacket, got into the boat.

_Just hope he doesn't crash it into a rock, _thought Erik. _Eh, he's probably not that stupid._

_CRASH!_

_I think I spoke too soon._

"Sorry!" Raoul called back. "I think that I dropped my gun." There came a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot. "Yeah, that was my gun."

---

About a half hour later, Erik was fully dressed and Raoul was going through the water, wearing a weird hat, singing like Gomez Addams, only extremely off key. In the boat was a bottle in a brown paper bag, and a bag of flour.

"Will you please stop singing?" Erik asked once Raoul got to shore, and he was still singing.

Raoul shook his head, kept singing, and got back into the boat. He took out a drill, and started to drill holes into it. He continued to sing as he rowed around in circles until the boat sank. As it sank, he tilted his head back as he fell slowly through the water. His hat floated to the top.

_Great, he must've drowned, _Erik thought. _There goes my possible relationship with Christine…_

Just then Raoul jumped up from the water, and landed on a rock nearby.

Behind Erik, there was clapping. When he turned around, he saw Meg grinning and clapping her hands together like crazy. Christine looked a little unsure on whether to clap, or whether to scowl.

"That wasn't wine," said Raoul. "I put a bottle of milk into the paper bag! I _fooled _you!"

"Thank God I have a spare boat," Erik muttered.

---

Later that day, Raoul walked over to Erik, looking incredibly happy.

"What is it now, Raoul?" he asked, looking up from a sheet of music. "Did you sink that other boat, too?"

Raoul shook his head. "No, I wrote you a new idea for an opera!" He handed Erik a thick packet that looked to be about a hundred or two hundred pages long.

"Hm, _the Man Who Lost His Sanity_," Erik read. "This might actually be a good idea for an opera…"

Raoul grinned.

Erik opened the packet and read aloud: "All work and no play makes Erik a dull boy."

Raoul nodded and beamed wider.

He kept reading. _All work and no play makes Erik a dull boy. All work and no play makes Erik a dull boy. All work and no play makes Erik a dull boy. All work and no play makes Erik a dull boy. _"Are you sure you didn't copy this, Raoul?"

Raoul shook his head.

Erik read the rest of the packet, which didn't take long, since the rest of it was nothing but "All work and no play makes Erik a dull boy."

"You know Erik," Raoul said. "I know the guy from that story."

"Who?" Erik asked.

"You of course, my friend!"

"Raoul, you took that right from _the Shining_! That's not a really new idea…"

Just then, Raoul turned on the TV. Ironically, _the Shining _was on TV, and the part where Jack Torrance began to go crazy was on.

Erik rolled his eyes. "I experienced that one thousand times already, you know."

"I saw the scene five thousand times."

Erik got up from his seat. "I'm going to go feed Ayesha." (Ayesha was his cat.)

"Oh, did I tell you she had kittens?!" Raoul asked.

"She what?" Erik ran over to his bedroom, where Christine was brushing her hair on his bed, and Ayesha was licking her front right paw in her basket. "I don't see any kit—"

Raoul jumped up from behind him and put a hood over his head that had kitty ears attached.

"You look like a sand ninja from _Naruto_!" Raoul laughed.

Erik glared at him, shook the hood off his head, and went to go and give Ayesha some dinner.


	4. No more bourbon

That night, Raoul stayed up all night keeping himself entertained by messing around with Erik's face while he was asleep. He pulled Erik's mask off his face and wig off his head. He took out a can of green hairspray and sprayed it into Erik's hair. Grinning, he applied thick, white powder over his face, neck, chest, arms, and legs (he was only wearing his underwear). He made sure that the red lipstick he applied to his mouth was messy and made his mouth look wider. He couldn't help but snigger a little.

The next morning, Erik came out of his bedroom in his boxers, with a serious look on his face. He glared at Raoul, who waved sheepishly at him from a plastic raft on the pool. He was wearing swim trunks, sunglasses, and was drinking lemonade from a plastic straw.

"How do you explain this?" Erik asked, a vein pulsing in his left temple.

Raoul took his sunglasses off to get a better look at Erik. _Wow, it actually went better than I thought! _"Why so serious, Mr. J?" He laughed like he never laughed before. After seeing Erik's 'I'm pissed off, so don't piss me off any more' face, he knew he should get out of the pool.

It took Erik two hours to bathe in the lake to get the makeup and hairspray off of his face and out of his hair. By then, Raoul was watching _the Exorcist_, commenting on how Erik looked so much like Regan with the pale makeup on. At that, he wrapped a towel around his waist, took Raoul's _the Man Who Lost His Sanity_ packet, and hit it over his head.

"Ow!" Raoul groaned. "What was that for?"

Erik looked at the screen, and then looked back at Raoul. "For saying I looked like a girl that was possessed by a demon!"

Raoul shrugged, and turned the volume up on the TV as loud as possible whenever the girl started cursing.

---

Later that night, while Meg was making dinner, Raoul got bored and went looking for potato chips. This left Erik and Christine sitting on the couch for a few minutes before Erik spoke up.

"Christine," he said. "What do you feel like doing?"

Christine shrugged. "I don't know."

Erik picked her up and carried her in his arms.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

He started towards the bedroom, and set her down on his bed.

"Erik?"

He planted a kiss on her lips. _Even softer than two years ago, _he thought; _when we first kissed. _

"Christine," he said. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long."

She stared deeply into his shiny green eyes. "As have I, Erik," she replied, and kissed him once more.

Erik continued to kiss her, and as they lay down next to each other, held her hand. "Christine, are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Of course Erik…"

They continued to kiss, until a beckon came from the kitchen.

"ERIK! WHERE DO YOU KEEP THE BOURBON?"

Erik sat up. "What do you need it for? We used it all on the ribs last night!"

"WE NEED IT FOR THE CHICKEN!"

"Just use some barbeque sauce; it's right next to where the bourbon was!"

"CAN'T YOU JUST _SHOW _ME?" Raoul whined.

"_No, _I'm busy!"

"What're you doing?" Raoul came through the door. His eyes widened. "Erik, what are you doing to my girlfriend?"

Christine got up. "Raoul, you know very well that we aren't dating anymore. Not after that incident at the masquerade party when you made out with Carlotta."

Erik grimaced.

"I was drunk," Raoul explained.

"It doesn't matter," she replied. "What's done is done."

Raoul rolled his eyes and got out of Erik's bedroom. There was a loud splash next. "_Help, Erik! HELP! I'm drowning! Ahhh!!"_

"Sure, Raoul," Erik called back. "Sure you are."

---

Raoul came back into Erik's room five minutes later, completely wet.

"Did I tell you that I burned the Don Juan Triumphant?" he asked.

Erik stared at him. "You _what?!_"

Raoul smiled. "Nope, I didn't. And you fell for it, living corpse!"

At that, Erik grabbed his Punjab lasso, and chased Raoul around his lair for half of the night, threatening to strangle him.


	5. Mexican Hat Dancing

A/N: Sorry this chapter is a mere…four or five days late. I would have finished it earlier, but I was in Wildwood for five days with no access whatsoever to a computer or these documents. Just to warn you, it gets a little gushy with Erik and Christine later; I won't spoil anything for you though. Enjoy Raoul's fourth day of annoying the crap out of our poor Erik!

---

The next morning, Erik and Christine awoke to the smell of smoke. They got out of bed only to find Raoul in the kitchen, in front of a fire.

"What the hell is this?!" Erik almost yelled.

"I was trying to make some waffles, but I burnt them, and they caught fire…"

Erik grabbed a bucket and filled it with water. He splashed it over the fire, putting it out instantly.

"That…is the last time I ever trust you near a stove," he said angrily.

"Aw, come on, Chucky," Raoul said. "It wasn't that bad."

"That bad?!" Erik glared at him. "And don't call me Chucky." He went back to his bedroom and got dressed.

"Hey Christine," he heard Raoul whispering to his newly found girlfriend. "Did I ever tell you that when Erik swims in the lake, he sometimes swims—?"

Erik appeared almost instantly behind him. "Don't. Even. Think. About. It. I. Have. No. Room. For. A. Bath. Tub."

"Ri-i-ight."

Erik banged his head against the wall. _Thank God he'll be out of here tomorrow. _He shook for a moment, and blacked out on the floor.

---

By the time Erik awoke, Raoul was jumping around him like a maniac. To be exact, he was dancing the Mexican hat dance, and laughing like a hyena.

Erik got up and glared at Raoul, who was still dancing, despite the fact that nothing was where Erik was lying. "What the _hell _are you doing?"

Raoul stopped dancing and looked at him like he was born yesterday. "What? I'm doing the Mexican hat dance, silly!" He continued his dancing.

Erik rolled his eyes and left for his bedroom. When he got there, Christine was sitting on his bed, reading 'What the HELL is a Viscount?!' He sat next to her.

"So Erik, what do _you _feel like doing?" she asked him smiling her sweet smile.

Erik kissed her, which led to several more kisses from the phantom. He lay her down on the bed and knelt above her.

"I'm definitely ready for this," she said to him, and pulled on his shirt collar so that their lips would meet once again.

Unfortunately for them, Raoul had just walked in through the door.

"Again," he said. "_What?!_" He fainted.

Erik looked at Raoul for a minute, then at Christine, and then back at Raoul. "Should we leave him there, or should we get someone?"

"He's probably just shocked," Christine replied. "He does this a lot."

Erik nodded and kissed Christine once more…

—THE NEXT SCENE WOULD INFRINGE ERIK AND CHRISTINE'S PRIVACY, THEREFORE LEADING TO THE AUTHOR TO BE HUNG BY THE NECK UNTIL DEATH BY ERIK. THE STORY MUST GO ON, AND THE AUTHOR IS VERY SORRY TO ALL ERIK X CHRISTINE FANS, AS SHE IS ONE HERSELF.—

Raoul woke up two hours later, only to find Christine and Erik lying next to each other. He rolled his eyes as he remembered why he blacked out in the first place. He left their bedroom and went to turn in.


End file.
